Buddies

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Today I had a very deep chat with a friend
This friend can say to be my best friend
But sometimes she hurts me too
Well she is too straight forward
I think I made her a little angry
So we started chatting
She sounded very serious
I felt like I have hurt her feelings
I never like to hurt others
When we were chatting
I felt like I was chatting with someone else
We were talking about people changing
Eveybody changes from time to time
To me she hasn't change at all
She still has the same habbits to me
But to me I feel like I have changed
Changed in a negative way
I didn't really know how have i changed
Until she told me
She said
" Since you have won, you will have to pay for the price"
Yes I have won
But to me the price is just too big for me to handle
I can't control my EQ anymore
Anger
Most of the time I feel angry
I want to become cheerful like last time
No worries
But even after this year
I still have a long more way to go
More worries
So not now then when
I always wanted to be seen by others
For that a price must be paid
I don't get why this year I am so stress out
Last year I face the same problem
But I don't get this stress out
My brain feels like exploding
I only can get through this by supporting myself
Because I me myself say I can't
Then how others are going to support me
We were chatting about all these
She was the first one I ever told
I never like to talk about this
Because It makes me feel uncomfortable
It makes me become a problematic person
I have always keep this deep in my heart
Or better, in my brain
They always say never keep things in your heart
Tell others express them out
But to me it's the other way
The more I say to others the more I'll think about it
Then I can't put 100% in my studies
Why are all the problems coming at once
So I have made up my mind
Today will be the very last day
About complaining, worrying about this RIDICULOUS, STUPID thing
From now onwards
I will just keep on look forward never look backwards again
Let the bygones be bygones
Accept all my duties and do them properly
Never be afraid of anything that's in front of me
Keep smiling and control myself
And the rest I'll just leave it to GOD
AND FRIEND, SORRY IF I HAVE MADE YOU ANGRY
I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT YOU SAY WAS TRUE OR NOT
I ASKED YOU WHAT ARE BUDDIES
MY ANSWER IS SAME AS YOURS
SO SORRY BUDDY!!!!

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