It's Really Coming!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

OMG...it's really coming now!!! Finally feeling it now. Today it was checking our places day in the F3 hall. I felt that as if I was still having my PMR. My place didn't really change much, I just moved 1 sit front and my lucky number is 007! haha. Really lucky man. We paste our lable down on the table and we left the hall. The next time we will be entering the hall will be on 23rd November. I can't imagine how I'll be...hands shaking, heart stumping, I just can't.
I don't like this feeling, it feels so weird, feels like it's the end of the day, like there will be no more tomorrors for me once it's start. With just 10 days more left for me to change my destiny. Hearing all the teachers say best of luck, do your best makes my eyes teary because I'm not giving my best effort, I really really really just haven't give my best shot. But with just 10 days left, can I change anything, saying YES I can is really lying to myself. Because I don't think I can, knowing me.
If I really push myself will not give any much difference anyway. But it's better than nothing, should I just try? It doesn't hurt just trying. But what if I expect too much and later it didn't come out what I expected? I'll just broken down into pieces. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Tears these days are so common for me, stress this word is killing me all the time...killing me slowly. Pressure, is something that is keeping me from from the dieing word which always pops in my brain frequently.
Everything is either happening too quick or it's me who is slowing down. In just a blink of eye a day has just passed, just like that. Now...now just what should I do?
Everybody is filling their brains with as much information as they can, but I;m just seeing them without making a single move.

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